On being a mass absentee…

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Photo by rawpixel.com on Unsplash

While opening his blog he could feel as if he was there years back. He was looking at the old blogs and they felt like the old memory lanes of his thoughts. He was walking down the memory lane clearing off the dust and looking at the memories that were once so vigorous that they came out as thoughts …

The memories, all of them filled with emotions, emotions of all sort. The more he wiped off the dust the more vibrant colors he could see. Some of them were so pulsating that he wondered, “I expressed it all that day!” “Oh, how beautiful that moment was…”

This tiny rendezvous with his memory lane made him feel the two most important phenomena about his current routine. Both the incidences have one thing in common, everything remaining same but Him. Yes, he was as if absent from the now if these moments… First, he often found his mother willing to talk over the same old things which were once a routine of his with her. Her exactly knowing what he liked, what he did not, her exactly knowing when he did what… Somehow he was not that involved in those conversations as deeply as she was… he was as if absent from those conversations currently…

Second, some similar discords from his spouse… She could point out almost daily about he being absent-minded, busy being busy, idle for no reason or simply not being romantic. He was again as if absent from these memory lanes…

Was there a reason for this mass absenteeism? He could have easily blamed his busy routine and his workload … But while walking down the memory lanes he could not, not now…

Although he couldn’t get an answer here, one thing was sure to happen, a dire need to find that notorious him again and shedding off the bundles of tags proclaiming themselves as being important, urgent, super urgent, or what not.

Losing a bonus is more convenient than losing a relationship, losing a pay hike is much affordable than losing the one for whom that pay hike would have been a surprise…

He knew he can’t be absent anymore… He shut the computer down and deleted the typed message to his wife about not able to make it to dinner tonight and sent the message reading “Get ready, I will be there sharp at 8 PM. We are going out…”

 

 

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You Won’t Understand…

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Photo by Charlie Foster on Unsplash

“Did you like the gifts?” he asked with curiosity.

“See, it is not possible.” She replied looking away from his pulsating and euphoric eyes.

“But…Why?” he asked with a sense of waning spirit and surprise in the eyes.

After a deafening silence of about a minute or two, he wished her good night and left.

Everyone may call her names, thinking about her as a selfish or opportunist being but nobody knew what she might have gone through while saying a NO. Sometimes, we completely miss the facts hidden between the lines. It wouldn’t have been a selfish or opportunist move indeed she would have strongly felt that she did not deserve such a pure hearted being who would be so true to her, which any girl imagines only in her fairy tale world, that she might not do justice in return. After all, he is such a special being that sometimes it all, as if, works against him…

They say “We do not fall in love with a person, we fall in love with the imagined future with that person”. Probably the future she beheld with him in that moment wasn’t the one she ever thought of and in such a discordant proposition, all she could do was a silent good bye as she knew she couldn’t explain him about the situation…

Though Lorene Cary rightly whispered: “I had not loved enough. I’d been busy, busy, so busy, preparing for future, while life floated by me, quiet and swift as a regatta”

Still, most of us are busy being busy, falling in love with imaginative future when some of the most beautiful relationships in present are dying of ignorance, carelessness and probably indifference.

Probably she too lost herself in an unending tussle between her present and the perceived future…:-)