Come, unify the thoughts, communicate the minds…

samuel-zeller-362021

Photo by Samuel Zeller on Unsplash

Despite being the only creature on earth having the most elaborated communication skills and the ability to speak, most of us, after the fear of death, fear in communicating or speaking, especially if it is about starting a conversation, initiating a dialogue with strangers or people we know but have never had a formal conversation before. Half the time we hope if the other one initiates the dialogue, I will contribute. Sometimes, we wait till the need to converse vanishes or when we simply tell ourselves that it is too late to initiate or simply “what would I say?”

“What would I say?” has hindered millions of beautiful conversation opportunities, plenty of meaningful and much-needed dialogues and a plethora of ideas to see the light of the world. We initiate or like to initiate a dialogue with people we see a connection with, with people we have something strikingly in common or something that we aspire to discover or learn. We already have had a multitude of conversations with them in our minds before that first “Hey”, “Hola”, or “Hi” happens, still that first conversation sometimes never happen…

Somebody has aptly said, “We are never afraid of darkness, we are afraid of what darkness hides”. We are afraid of the “what if something went wrong”, “What if the other person does not reciprocate the same way”, “What if I mess up” and countless of these “what ifs” have successfully managed to deter countless of dialogues and initiatives…

Some of the very good friends I have found in this world are a result of keeping these “what ifs” aside in those moments of doubts and initiating a simple dialogue, as primitive as a Hello!, followed by a smile. Believe it or not, we all are human beings and we all have threads that can be connected or in a better way, that needs to be connected, to discover the incredible stories and ideas sleeping in our minds…

Give a smile to the person sitting beside you for so long, say a hello to the neighbor or just wave a goodbye to the person sitting on the bus, looking at you from the window. Who knows how many dots are waiting to be connected in a meaningful and a beautiful way…

Hola to all the beautiful minded readers! 🙂

Advertisements

Plan-less Discover more…

ales-krivec-18035

It was for the first time when all his plans were as if failing in front of him. The dense fog depleting the likelihood of his boarding the train, to the same making his journey too slow to board the connecting train, to leaving him strayed in between an odd 270 km covered to over 2200 km remaining…

He had not only suffered monetarily but had also exhausted his mental and physical being due to his precise planning, as there wasn’t any scope to fail and every piece of the puzzle needed to fall in place to make it all work… But he forgot one thing, which most of us do at one point in time or the other, “Does Life work this way?”

It certainly does not work this way.

Then why do we plan? He asked.

To fail and to discover more… He realized.

They say, what separates men from boys is poise, but the state of poise comes from the situations that weren’t planned, the state of affairs that just happen out of nowhere. And in such unplanned circumstances, we discover our true potential. Scoring an A+ in an exam where all the questions were known to you, giving a speech from a pre-written piece of paper, winning a game where you know all the moves of your opponent or ordering the same stuff from the same menu of the same restaurant never gave anyone the thrill, the goosebumps, or the mixed feeling of fear and achievement that circumstances laden with uncertainty and surprises give…

They complain that they are not getting any new thing to do in their jobs, they complain that they are not able to discover anything new in their research areas, and they complain that they are not enjoying life the way they wanted to, but they don’t question the level of certainty they have brought up in all these areas just to make themselves pseudo comfortable in what they are doing. Pseudo, because this very comfort is what brings the most uncomfortable of the feelings in their days and nights…

He discovered newer horizons, met with people he wouldn’t have met otherwise and had learnings that say

Planless ones discover more… and

Plan less to discover more…. 😉

On being a mass absentee…

rawpixel-com-303966

Photo by rawpixel.com on Unsplash

While opening his blog he could feel as if he was there years back. He was looking at the old blogs and they felt like the old memory lanes of his thoughts. He was walking down the memory lane clearing off the dust and looking at the memories that were once so vigorous that they came out as thoughts …

The memories, all of them filled with emotions, emotions of all sort. The more he wiped off the dust the more vibrant colors he could see. Some of them were so pulsating that he wondered, “I expressed it all that day!” “Oh, how beautiful that moment was…”

This tiny rendezvous with his memory lane made him feel the two most important phenomena about his current routine. Both the incidences have one thing in common, everything remaining same but Him. Yes, he was as if absent from the now if these moments… First, he often found his mother willing to talk over the same old things which were once a routine of his with her. Her exactly knowing what he liked, what he did not, her exactly knowing when he did what… Somehow he was not that involved in those conversations as deeply as she was… he was as if absent from those conversations currently…

Second, some similar discords from his spouse… She could point out almost daily about he being absent-minded, busy being busy, idle for no reason or simply not being romantic. He was again as if absent from these memory lanes…

Was there a reason for this mass absenteeism? He could have easily blamed his busy routine and his workload … But while walking down the memory lanes he could not, not now…

Although he couldn’t get an answer here, one thing was sure to happen, a dire need to find that notorious him again and shedding off the bundles of tags proclaiming themselves as being important, urgent, super urgent, or what not.

Losing a bonus is more convenient than losing a relationship, losing a pay hike is much affordable than losing the one for whom that pay hike would have been a surprise…

He knew he can’t be absent anymore… He shut the computer down and deleted the typed message to his wife about not able to make it to dinner tonight and sent the message reading “Get ready, I will be there sharp at 8 PM. We are going out…”

 

 

Happiness**- No Strings Attached

28135296583_6f2b871957_b

When I came out of the railway station, all I was thinking was to find an ATM, to withdraw some cash and take an auto rickshaw towards the bus stand. As expected, the ATM at the railway station was out of cash. An old man, probably in his late sixties, came to me asking where I wanted to go. I told him about the destination which he agreed to go to. He had a cycle rickshaw with him and asked for eighty rupees for the journey. I had ample time at my disposal so I agreed with some apprehensions regarding his age and health. I told him that I need to withdraw some cash. Putting my luggage on the back seat, he said he would find me an ATM. We started our journey.

I realized while withdrawing cash that the distance between the source and destination is worth more than the fare he had demanded. While enjoying the view of the city comfortably sitting in a cycle rickshaw, I was somewhere worried about him, while he was enjoying his job as a routine chore. We approached a bridge where I realized he couldn’t take the rickshaw up the slope with the luggage and I loaded. A few other young rickshaw drivers were doing that with fairly visible pain. At the onset of the bridge I told him that I had to pick up a call, could I walk beside him while he took the rickshaw up the bridge, on which he happily agreed, feeling relaxed. In a few minutes, we cleared the hurdle and he asked me to get on board again.

I could observe a visible change in his behavior. He was much relaxed and willing to talk about where I was going, which bus I was going to board, etc. We reached the destination before time. I asked him to come and have some snacks and tea if he wanted, on which he agreed easily. I asked him what he would like to have, “Samosas” he replied happily. While having snacks and tea he kept on looking after my luggage and the bus.

When I saw my bus, I gave him a hundred rupee note with a good bye. He came rushing towards me after a few moments and said, “Acche se jana beta, koi kuch de to khana mat” (Have a safe journey and do not eat anything offered by strangers)

“Me khana lekar aya hu uncle” I laughed and waved him a good bye.

He was happy without any strings attached, not because I offered him food or a few extra bucks. It was the unexpected concern or care he experienced which we often forget to show in hustles and hurries of our busy lives. We are often deeply occupied in our worries that we forget to treat a few human beings as humans and over time they too accept the treatment to be fair…

Let us do our part in making them again feel special, no matter how small or big but a moment of happiness without any strings attached… 🙂

 

You Won’t Understand…

charlie-foster-136

Photo by Charlie Foster on Unsplash

“Did you like the gifts?” he asked with curiosity.

“See, it is not possible.” She replied looking away from his pulsating and euphoric eyes.

“But…Why?” he asked with a sense of waning spirit and surprise in the eyes.

After a deafening silence of about a minute or two, he wished her good night and left.

Everyone may call her names, thinking about her as a selfish or opportunist being but nobody knew what she might have gone through while saying a NO. Sometimes, we completely miss the facts hidden between the lines. It wouldn’t have been a selfish or opportunist move indeed she would have strongly felt that she did not deserve such a pure hearted being who would be so true to her, which any girl imagines only in her fairy tale world, that she might not do justice in return. After all, he is such a special being that sometimes it all, as if, works against him…

They say “We do not fall in love with a person, we fall in love with the imagined future with that person”. Probably the future she beheld with him in that moment wasn’t the one she ever thought of and in such a discordant proposition, all she could do was a silent good bye as she knew she couldn’t explain him about the situation…

Though Lorene Cary rightly whispered: “I had not loved enough. I’d been busy, busy, so busy, preparing for future, while life floated by me, quiet and swift as a regatta”

Still, most of us are busy being busy, falling in love with imaginative future when some of the most beautiful relationships in present are dying of ignorance, carelessness and probably indifference.

Probably she too lost herself in an unending tussle between her present and the perceived future…:-)

 

 

Vibes

arthur-poulin-96074

Anyone who would have observed them could have easily grasped the unexpressed smiles on their faces just because of being together in the crowd. Neither of the two had a word but they were too loud that everything around them as if got blurred…

We often feel a lot stressed about expressing, communicating or conveying things perfectly to people around us while some of best and the purest form of conversations do not even require a single utterance of the word. Yes, sometimes we communicate through what I call as vibes

The aura around her was as if bringing a smile on his face that seemed to be the purest of emotions he had felt during the day and his presence in turn as if made her chip into the environment with an energy having a pinch of euphoria in it, they were actually communicating without conversing

The Rigveda defines communication as the act when the intellect of the two is in perfect synchronization. Who needs a word when such a synchronization starts to exist? We all encounter someone whose vibes are enough to bring a smile or to enhance our productivity or our involvement in the present moment with an involuntary visit to the future with no one but him/her.

These lines from the movie Barfi rightly epitomizes what communication through vibes is…

Sawali si raat ho, khamoshi ka saath ho

Bin kahe bin sune, baat ho teri meri… 

So, next time when you feel an unusual euphoria around someone, mind you, his/her vibes are already communicating 🙂

 

The Troubled Child of our Imagination

“Forrest, Life is like a chocolate box, you never know what you’ll get…” Yes, the famous conversation between a mother and her child from the movie Forrest Gump.

kyle-broad-29486

“Thank you for forcing me to travel and to visit here, I missed this place so much.” She told him.

I didn’t do anything, it was your will that won over the conflict within yourself.” He replied.

Life is surrounded by so many uncertainties, which sometimes not only bewilder us but also bring forth a plethora of doubts in our mind, be it regarding a career choice, being in a right relationship or simply the routine clockwork. Most of the times majority of these doubts have no roots or base, they are something I refer to as troubled children of our imagination.

Parents are not worried about the child who is sincere but what keeps them on their toes all the time is a troubled or notorious child. Likewise, the so-called troubled child of our imagination brings with it the thoughts of anxiety, doubt, and confusion about the things that are yet to happen. “What if he’ll dump me?” What if I fail?” or even “What if I fumble everything that is going well?”

“What the troubled thought brings then”? She asked with eyes wide open.

“Worst case scenarios to all such questions.” He replied.

“But they may come true, mustn’t they”? She inquired.

“They may not. Isn’t it equally likely?” He said.

“But we never know what we’ll get, do we?” She smirked.

That is the catch, why should the unknowns be negative always?” He asked.

Agreeing to the argument she told him “Forrest’s mother actually implied this:

Forrest, Life is like a chocolate box, you never know what you’ll get unless you open the box with an excitement of the child who does not care where things unfold, else you’ll surely end up missing that spice of life which we all know as SURPRISE”

As they say “Too much analysis leads to paralysis.” Sometimes it’s better not to direct the flow but being with the flow is all that phase asks for…:)

 

 

dependence

alexander-dummer-117513

Watching a toddler’s routine is something like a flashback of our own lives. They have their own problems that sometimes resemble with our problems. I am getting an opportunity to see my nephew’s daily routine for the last two days. He enjoys walking a lot holding one hand of his mother as he has his own fears of not being able to walk on his own.

Today seemed to be a rough day for him. Her mother had refused to hold his hand. She left him standing in the middle of the room with nothing to take support from and went five feet away from him. She told him to walk towards her. He was out of his comfort zone then.

He made faces, trying to persuade her to come and hold her hand. He tried to stretch his tiny hand as far as he could and made faces again and again. She had taken a firm stand not to be moved by his cute requests, she kept asking him to come to him.

Once he was sure that if he wanted to be with her he had to walk towards her. There came his first independent move, carefully looking his tiny legs taking tiny steps towards his mother. The second, the third and he reached towards her mother laughing and grabbing her tightly in his arms. He had gained a much needed confidence today that he need no one to hold him in this journey of growth.

Sometimes we are like these toddlers, thinking that we need someone always to hold our hand to learn and to grow. In other words, we undergo an unfortunate transition from constructive dependence on our closed ones to destructive overdependence on anyone and everyone.

As they say, every choice has its consequence, this destructive overdependence makes us vulnerable to people unlike the mother, instead of taking hard stands, make us believe we need them always if we want to learn and grow. In the disguise of them being the well-wishers, all that is done is fulfilment of their ulterior motives in the name of care, love and support.

Live your fears to win over your fears, the moment you start doing it, you don’t have to stick the poster in your room that reads, “I don’t want to survive, I want to live” nor do you need the so called well-wishers who only confirm your fears to be everlasting without them…

And by chance if you are lucky enough to have someone playing the Mother, unmoved by your faces, hold on to them… 😉

 

Tiny Little Things…

jeremy-bishop-34882

It had already approached 3 AM. They were walking hand in hand when she looked at the sky filled with stars and said, “You know I always wanted this time together, all I always wished for was not those routine phone calls where the discussion often started and ended like a news bulletin but these real conversations, all I always wished for was not having an epicurean banquet but this late night coffee with you and hours of discussions over things that make us know each other, all I always wished for was not the expensive gifts but generous efforts to surprise each other, thank you for surprising me…”

He smiled and kept on walking as today, after a long time, he had the feeling of being home after a pretty long and tiring day, he was thinking it was always these tiny but beautiful gestures that mattered when he was busy making fortunes, buying gifts but not even present there to see how she looked in the last dress he gifted, or the emotions on her face after reading the letter he had sent, in fact, for all these years it was these tiny moments that knowingly or unknowingly starved for their share of fulfilment.

He asked her, “So now no expensive gifts then?”

“Off course they are there, who told you no…” She muttered. They both laughed and continued the walk, her telling him what he can gift next time and what after that and what color she avoids in dresses and et cetera and et cetera…

All that glitters…

He told them, “You would be thinking that we are going to cover advanced training in this institute. Not exactly, before you unlearn all the wrong methods and techniques in your previous training of any form…”

They all abide by him thinking advanced, top ranked institute’s trainer/teacher/guide knows better than anyone and everyone teaching or guiding elsewhere.

8ueuvwa-tk-i-m-priscilla

They say that the real process of learning is unlearning old things and learning newer and advanced ones with time. Maybe true for some things but not all.

We attend same courses in many stages of our learning career be it education, arts, sports or any other field. Every time we attend the same course, we experience two things, either we feel disappointed or we get a whole new perspective about the topic. In today’s fast moving life, the second feeling has become rare where most of such overhyped and excellently marketed sessions end up disappointing most of us most of the time.

In one of his rare most sessions he said, “Today people impress others with their personalities but ditch others with their characters” and probably most of us have experienced this with people who impressed us with their first few impressions but disappointed us with time.

So what is the big deal? What is our loss in such scenarios?

Let us understand this by a relation. Personalities often impress, impressions evoke actions, and every action has its consequence, good or bad. When we are impressed by a false personality, we often question our old values that have so far helped us achieve whatever we have in our areas of specialization. We take actions to alter those values, those methods, those techniques and end up creating career disasters, and ultimately questioning our own abilities to achieve. Think about a legend in some point of time whose career ended in pain because of this very fact, you’ll find many.

She asked, “Shouldn’t I learn new methods then?”

He replied,” Question their authenticity first, scrutinize their sources and check their compatibility with your real strengths and values

She inquired, “So, not all the new things are worth adopting?”

“Absolutely not”, He affirmed.

“So old is gold”, She laughed. They both laughed recognizing the fact that not all the data is information and not all the new techniques are relevant to everyone…

“Choose wisely Harry, both, the teacher and the teaching” 😉